I want to explain myself here but the problem's pretty much settled from your perspective so my explaination would be of no worth to you. If you know who you are, close the browser please.
I'm uncomfortable with the situation now though everyone's okay with it, i feel more than just a pinch of awkwardness. We've been friends for years now, i wouldn't want something this trivial to ruin our friendship. Trivial or not, it bugs me and if you can't abide by that, i can't be bothered to relate myself to you either. You don't respect my rights, neither did you consider my feelings nor thought about the consequences of your actions. I can understand that you were trying to bring the best out of the situation. BUT from your perspective. Not mine or his. When i said i'd let things slide, i knew eventually things would die down. Even during that period if i were to feel awkward, at least i'll be suffering alone. That'll give me time to tabulate all my thoughts carefully now wouldn't it.
Just like any individual i expect least of all my friends to respect my rights and reasons. I'm not obliged to give you full explanatory details of my life. So when i say something, taking my word for it and try to understand why i'm in such a position, to get an arial view of the situation instead of pouncing to conclusions you personally feel are best.
Its not a matter about whether the rest cares or if theyre so busy with their fucking commitments, its BASICALLY about respecting my decisions, rights and reasons. I told you because i trusted you, i believe you had the power to empathise with others best but it clearly seems to me, i was wrong.
Don't get me wrong, you're not a terrible person for trying to help.
In fact, you're great but thats not the point of this post.
All i wanted you to do was to keep something trivial to yourself for awhile. We might even look back one day and laugh about it.
I told you it was awkward not once, not twice but prolly a zillion times. I expected you to respect my rights and decisions.
I didn't even get an apology.
In short, i don't give two fucking shits about what the rest think because it has absolutely nothing to do with them and getting them involved would be uneccessary. I felt like i was facing a panel of judges. Don't publicise the problem if it involves 2 people, get them to confront privately. So only the 3 of you would know. What a person channels to another never is a 100% accurate. I'm pretty sure you've played pass the message or chinese whispers, the laws can be applied here too. I wouldn't have minded a personal confrontation. After all, i think its a personal kinda situation. Note personal.
If you feel that sharing your problems with your friends are important & a must-do, try to get both sides of the story so coming to a good conclusion would be easier.
When i confronted you today, you weren't partically nice as well.
I'm sorry i told you, i'm sorry i thought you could keep it a secret, i'm sorry you feel that the problem lies with me, i'm sorry you're taking time off your commitments to attend to a "settled" situation but i'm most definitely NOT sorry having brought the situation face front today because i believe i deserve some simple respect.
If you feel that you're right, you won't even be reading this line.
I hope you're a happy person.
Least i walk out from this having learnt one lesson.
- if you're afraid of hurting or causing any distress to anyone, just keep your fucking problems to yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment